Thursday, January 11, 2007

I return from Earth-K!

Well, it has been a WHILE, hasn’t it? I don’t think we had any readers anyway, but if we did, we’ve absolutely killed them off one by one with inactivity. Still with several of our fave blogs going the way of the dodo, I felt I needed to get back on ship.

Unfortunately, due to a ridiculous schedule (the downside of being a private investigator trying to catch scofflaws at nefarious deeds is that they don’t follow a schedule and might do said deeds at any moment, which necessitates you watching them morning, noon and night; Rockford never had to do stuff like this, that’s for certain) I haven’t had much time to ruminate on comics and due to starting the new business, I haven’t had much money for them either.

The other thing is, I kind of wanted to say some positive stuff about the comics I really like. Unfortunately, its hard to do anything interesting with “Birds of Prey is really great, if you’re not reading it you really ought to be” or “JSofA, although a needless relaunch, is only two issues in and already five thousand percent more interesting than JLofA.” See, even in the second one, I accidentally get some digs in on a stupid editorial decision and a book that SHOULD be the premier super-team book at DC but is, instead, lackluster, boring and stupid.

So, I’m going to say just a few negative things and not elaborate on them at all or back up my opinion in any way. It’s my blog, I can do that if I want. I suspect the good Cap’n might disagree with some of them and, if so, he can reply and a riotous debate will ensue! Also, if we haven’t bored any of our “readers” then I’ll expect comments. Again, unadulterated negativity coming at you…now!

· While I applaud the twin ideas of single issue stories and bringing Bruce Wayne back, Paul Dini’s issues of Detective Comics just aren’t that great. They aren’t bad, but he certainly isn’t God’s gift to Batman comics.

· Calling Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman the Holy Trinity of the DCU is insulting for two reasons. First, thanks for cheapening a core doctrine of my belief system. Second, and a lot more trivial but a lot closer to the heart of the matter, Wonder Woman isn’t very interesting and, I suspect, nobody really cares about her. Putting out her One Year Later book on a semi-annual basis isn’t helping this. From now on, all honest people will refer to them as the World’s Finest and Wonder Woman…when they bother to mention her at all.

· As lightly mentioned above, Meltzer’s JLofA is really boring and, I suspect, really stupid. I stopped reading after the nonsensical #0 and the plodding #1 & 2, so I’m guessing a little on the stupid part. Still, criminal mastermind Solomon Grundy and Not-Speedy being on the team certainly SEEM very stupid.

· Why isn’t Teen Titans good? It used to be VERY good and they certainly have potential. I’m very interested in all the junior versions of DCU heroes that have been mentioned. It takes a DCU staple to a logical extreme and maybe a little into the illogical (in a good way). Also, Kid Devil and Ravager are great!

· Bringing back Jason Todd didn’t have to be a bad idea, but it went ahead and became one anyway. A completely stupid re-origin based on a completely stupid plot point from a mostly stupid big event didn’t help this.

· Why is Jason’s costume still up in the Cave now that he’s a psycho killer? And why is Stephanie Brown completely forgotten? Out with the Todd outfit, in with the Steph outfit in the shrine. Two people live in that Cave and it’s about time they both get reminded of the person that actually had the potential of being a great Robin and how they both failed her miserably.

· In retrospect, Infinite Crisis wasn’t very good. I was carried through it, blind to most of its faults (until the rushed and terrible #7), through sheer momentum. The creation of a really expensive hardcover with the artwork actually finished and the tone and theme of the story more or less completely changed has NOT done much to make me feel like a valued monthly customer of DC either.

· 52 is boring and real-time comic book storytelling is possibly one of the least interesting ideas in comics right now.

· I was convinced on the strength of Daughters of the Dragon (Earth-K approved comic goodness!) to buy Heroes for Hire. Unfortunately, it isn’t what it ought to be. I think being mired in Civil War is a big reason for this, but losing Khari Evans on art is also a major factor.

· Astonishing X-Men is at best middling. Also, I suspect Whedon will be the death of Runaways for most of us that are currently fans. This upsets me as I am a big fan of most of Whedon’s tv work.

· Civil War is big and stupid, which actually apparently seems to be the point. So I guess that’s a win…ish.

· I love the new JSofA (see above and tomorrow), but DC’s current policy toward token lesbianism makes me VERY scared of where Stargirl and the underwear-less Maxine Hunkel are headed.

· Three words for the DCU: TOO MUCH RAPE.

· NextWave being canceled is a travesty as it is very possibly the best book Marvel was putting out. Plus, it was Warren Ellis being funny. That doesn’t happen very often…at least not on purpose.

· DC convinced me to pick up several new books OYL, but only one is hanging on and that’s mainly on the strength of Gail Simone (I’m looking at you, All New Atom!). Hawkgirl was just embarrassingly bad. Sword of Atlantis looked to be going somewhere, but the driving force behind it is leaving it before it’ll have anything like the needed time to breathe. I am now very leery of trying new DC things, and that’s too bad.

· I feared this when I first read about it, but Richard Donner really doesn’t have a clue what to do with Superman. Also, a modicum of continuity might want to be observed just in case anybody who actually reads Superman comics decides to check it out.

· Killing the Question and (probably) making the most annoying character created in the last ten years the NEW Question is a really stupid idea. Possibly stupider than killing the beloved Blue Beetle and replacing him with a token minority in high school wearing Kirby-tech.

· As I have made mention of token lesbians and token minorities, it is incumbent to say that I have nothing against some racial diversity in comic book universes; in fact I think it’s a very good idea. But when you see the treatment of Super Chief and Black Goliath, it is difficult for my cynical internal monologue to not assume that the well of minority characters is being refilled in order to have somebody to kill in ten years.

· The new Supergirl is poorly conceived and brings so much baggage with her that I would likely still find her unreadable even if they managed to put somebody on their book that knew their word processor from a hole in the ground.

Okay, that’s all my negativity. Tomorrow…POSITIVE things! Comics I love! Comics you should be READING! Comics that are doing it RIGHT, whatever that means!

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